The Life of Pleasure

Epicurus gets a bad rap as a philosopher.  


Mostly, people think of him as someone who promoted licentious, orgiastic pleasure as the path to happiness.  His name is associated with fine food, wine, sex and other such indulgences.  Our contemporary society doesn't roundly condemn these pleasures - on the contrary, it endorses and encourages them - but Epicurus often gets left out of the conversation by those who discuss, with seriousness, what it means to live a good life.


This is a mistake, in my view.  


Yes, he put the experience of pleasure - or at least the absence of pain - at the heart of his definition of happiness and the good life.  But he was very careful to distinguish between different kinds of pleasures, and in which ones the wise person chooses to indulge in order to create a happy, contented life.  Some pleasures are natural and necessary - like food, shelter, clothing, social intercourse (which includes the erotic and non-erotic) and the like.  Some pleasures are natural and unnecessary - like certain kinds of food, shelter and clothing (lobster, starter mansions and expensive finery).  Some pleasures are unnatural and unnecessary - like fame, glory, admiration, receiving honors, wealth and so on.


Epicurus says the path to a happy, good life is to focus one's life on the first category as much as possible, steering into the second category only rarely.  Stay completely away from the third category, he says - it's a straight path toward anxiety and misery most of the time.


I think he's right on this in a general way.  The pleasures in the first category are the simplest, most basic pleasures and, thus, are the easiest to obtain.  The second category takes more effort and work to secure and, once obtained, even more effort to maintain. Bigger houses and cars, expensive clothes and food - these "cost" us more than the simpler pleasures, in money, effort, attention and more.  The pleasures of the final category are largely out of our control anyway, since they depend on the thoughts and actions of others, so spending life trying to obtain them is a recipe for misery.  And we lose ourselves in vanity and narcissism in the process. 


My favorite quote from Epicurus centers on what he sees as a key ingredient to happiness.   He says: 


Of all the means which wisdom gives us to ensure happiness throughout ours lives, by far the most important is friendship.


Happiness is as simple as having one or a few really good friends.  They don't even have to stay the same throughout our lives - people come in and out of our lives throughout the decades.  But, at any one time, to have a least one person (if not more) who sees us and loves us for who we really are, and with whom we can share our triumphs as well as our struggles . . . this is indispensable to the good and happy life.


If true abundance is determined by the presence of friendship in our lives - and I think it is - then I am indeed a wealthy woman.  Forget about the fancy house, cars, clothes and food.  


I've got friends.  I'm filthy rich.